Monday, December 29, 2008

Same Sex Marriage

I've been battling on this issue. A major battle was whether to take a stance on it or not... and then whether to say anything about it or not.

On the face of the issue, my response is "Why not?" I don't really mind a gay couple. I have a few gay-couple friends and some gay friends who are not so attached.

Then you have my love of language. Marriage is a union of a man and a woman, a husband and wife. I can see where married couples feel that allowing "Marriage" to be also between a man and man or woman and woman that their "Marriage" will loose some of it's specialness.
Then you get to the, well, in the same sex marriage, who is the "husband" and who is the "wife"?

Then I question, why Re-Define an established institution? Marriage is unique to heterosexual unions. I believe it would be a benefit to Create a unique institution for same-sex unions.

I have rallied against "marriage" before. The 'roles' associated with the terms assigned are usually not the roles that wish to enter into. I do not want to be the "Husband" - head of household, bread-winner, decision maker, law-enforcer kind of thing. I don't want a "Wife" - home maker, keeper of the household, care-giver, comfort-provider. I want a "Marriage" to be a partnership of equals where responsibilities are shared, strengths are shared and weaknesses are compensated for. One partner 'lording' over the other doesn't work for me.

An article I just read, expressing similar ideas, got me thinking even further. Why limit recognition to only two-party unions? I am polyamarous at heart and it would be great to have that be a viable option - that would not get a loving triad (or more) arrested for simply being in love with more than one person at a time.

Of course, what would be good terms for the various relationships?? Like cohabitation - the short-term, temporary marriage? ( Handfasted? - and how would I feel about my Pagan term used for any-and-all short-term cohabitation? ) How about a term for Man-Man Union? ( Dudeunon? *groan* Manwed? *lol*) How about two women? ( Sapphos Union? ) Or Woman-Man-Woman ( Heaven? ... Triage? *roflol* ) *Sigh* Perhaps I see why some would want to re-define an existing term. Then, what would you say instead of "husband/wife" ? Wife/Wife?

Any suggestions on relationship terms?


  1. You are making this far too difficult---can tell you are of an analytical personality. If you feel the term marriage is for a man and a woman then fine. If we get into the area of girl/girl---man/man---man/man/woman---woman/woman/man or whatever then that's enough to drive a person nuts.
    I am a lesbian and have never like the term where some do, so what? I don't like the term marriage, so I don't use it. I am not going to call my partner my "wife" that's for darn sure--sounds funky and not equal (to me--not to everyone though) Now hand-fasting is that way cool (old Celtic term that sounds pretty---you know---wrapping our Clan tartans around our hands so we belong together and you are now me and I am now you------OH WOW! I just had an idea. Why not call everyone who has a love or many loves-----"WE ARE NOW ONE." So my personal term for my partner is "My One." or maybe, "My Love."

  2. Yes, I am sometimes far too analytical. :)

    I LOVE the We Are Now One idea...


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