Love and Jealousy

(Theme song that was going through my head while writing this : Love Song by Tesla - you may want to listen while you read)

“"Love" is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy."  - Robert Heinlein

“To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is, a dissatisfaction with self” - Joan Didion

"Jealousy contains more of self-love than of love." - Francois de La Rochefoucauld 

"Jealousy is the fear of comparison." - Max Frisch 

"Jealousy is the grave of affection." - Mary Baker Eddy 

"Jealousy is the jaundice of the soul." - John Dryden 

"The surest route to breeding jealousy is to compare. Since jealousy comes from feeling less than another, comparisons only fan the fires." - Dorothy Corkville Briggs

"Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value.  Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you.  There is only one alternative - self-value.  If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved."  - Jennifer James

"Most moral philosophers consciously or unconsciously assume the essential correctness of our cultural sexual code - family, monogamy, continence, the postulate of privacy,… restriction of intercourse to the marriage bed, etcetera. Having stipulated our cultural code as a whole, they fiddle with details - even such piffle as solemnly discussing whether or not the female breast is an “obscene” sight! But mostly they debate how the human animal can be induced or forced to obey this code, blandly ignoring the high probability that the heartaches and tragedies they see all around them originate in the code itself rather than the failure to abide by the code." -   - Stranger in a Strange Land, Heinlein

Okay, so I started and ended with Heinlein quotes.  The main goal of this post is to promote Love without Jealousy.  I think of this as pure love - untainted by jealousy or a sense of possession.  If "Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own," then how would denying someone happiness or joy be love?  The idea that "you can not experience joy with someone else" is imprisonment.

Think seriously about this, please.  Jealousy is the dread that you will miss out on something, that you will 'loose.'  It is a taint on the ideal of Love.

It is my feeling and belief that Monogamy is a construct of oppression and repression.  It places importance on possession, control and restraint while condemning any interest in any other person.  This enshrinement of one relationship as the be-all end-all of life fulfillment is absolutely absurd.  Humans are not a monogamous species! 

"Studies conservatively estimate, Vaughan reveals, that 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair."

The author in the previously cited work declares that "everyone is at risk for betraying or being betrayed." Therein lies the heart of the matter at hand - betrayal.  When people accept that beings as complex as ourselves are going to require more than one partner, sexual or otherwise, to fulfill our life, there will be no more "betrayal."

I would like to make it clear that I am not suggesting a lack of commitment in relationships.  Quite the contrary!  Commitment is the backbone of any lasting relationship.  The ideals that I have always sought are encompassed in a movement called Polyamory.  It is essentially a practice of Love and Intimacy with multiple partners.  Please take note that Sex is not a required part of neither intimacy nor love.  Poly has been around since the 90's as a formal term, but the practice has been around since the beginning of time, I believe.  It has been making the news sort of recently.

The following is taken from the news article :

Some polyamorists are married with multiple love interests, while others practice informal group marriage. Some have group sex—and many are bisexual—while those like Greenan have a series of heterosexual, one-on-one relationships. Still others don't identify as poly but live a recognizably poly lifestyle. Terisa describes her particular cluster as a "triad," for the number of people involved, and a "vee" for its organization, with Terisa at the center (the point of the V) and her two primary partners, Scott and Larry (who are not intimate with each other) as the tips of each arm. Other poly vocabulary exists, too: "spice" is the plural of "spouse"; "polygeometry" is how a polyamorous group describes their connections; "polyfidelitous" refers to folks who don't date outside their menage; and a "quad" is a four-member poly group.

I understand why many outsiders want to know about the sex arrangements, but I really wish that sex was not discussed along with Poly all the time.  Intimacy does not require sex.  Sure, sex can enhance intimacy, but it can also distract from it.  No matter how many times someone who is Poly says "Its not about the sex", no one who has not lived it will easily get past the "Sex."  It could be because of the extreme hangup society places on people.

More from the Article - which you should read in full :

But perhaps the practice is more natural than we think: a response to the challenges of monogamous relationships, whose shortcomings—in a culture where divorce has become a commonplace—are clear. Everyone in a relationship wrestles at some point with an eternal question: can one person really satisfy every need? Polyamorists think the answer is obvious—and that it's only a matter of time before the monogamous world sees there's more than one way to live and love. "The people I feel sorry for are the ones who don't ever realize they have any other choices beyond the traditional options society presents," says Scott.

Poly relationships may not always be easy, no relationship is, but in the long run, I truly feel as though they are easier than the current model of enforced monogamy.

In Peace and Spirit Be!

(Theme song that was going through my head while writing this : Love Song by Tesla)

Another Politician to like

Both Franklin and Eleanor also "gave each other space" to cultivate romantic friendships outside of the marriage. Whether or not these relationships were physical is still up for debate, but the language of existing letters shows there's no question they were passionate.

Okay, so the precedent has been set for having a Poly president.  I have hope yet!! :D

Magickal Thinking Works!

Danish scientists have proven that lucky charms work!

Duh...

More Christian Nation stuff

Founded as a Christian Nation?  One more foray into this subject.  Why? Because Idiots don't know the Constitution and it's history. 

The first amendment states:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

You can find transcripts of the debates during the continental congress.  I would suppose that this amendment did not get a whole lot of opposing discussion.  It is sound and rational and nobody wanted anyone else's religion imposed upon them. (Because many had just escaped the tyranny of the Church of England being imposed on them.)

Article Six of the Constitution, however, received much debate because of the following :

"but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."

 There were arguments that "pagans, deists, and Mahometans might obtain offices among us, and that the senators and representatives might all be pagans." - Henry Abbot  and rebuttals of "But it is objected that the people of America may, perhaps, choose representatives who have no religion at all, and that pagans and Mahometans may be admitted into offices. But how is it possible to exclude any set of men, without taking away that principle of religious freedom which we ourselves so warmly contend for?" - James Iredell


Still, with full knowledge of all possible outcomes, the Founders signed the Constitution and the 13 States Ratified it (some votes were close though!).  Therefore, I contest, that this was NOT founded as a Christian-only nation on purpose and with full knowledge.

(read the first foray into this subject : One Nation Not Under God)

Harmonic Convergence

Well, we have a rare event coming up soon : The 2010 Harmonic Convergence! Not to be confused with the last Harmonic Convergence in 1987. This will take place July 17 and 18th of 2010.

So, with all the talk of "Divine Thought Moment" and "Unity Consciousness" and "Choice of 3rd Dimension or 5th Dimension" - what are we really looking at happening?

All the jargon is basically saying "Choose a path of Peace and Harmony and continue to thrive, or choose to keep doing things the same and wither."

You will hear people talk of the "Amazing Energy" and awesome realization of potential and all kinds of nonsensical phrases spoken with awe and the weight of something very important and grand. And it is - or can be. However, most people are not going to get that full effect.

I am getting images of one of those movies where the village 'crazy' rambles on about some big, glorious event coming and everyone ignores them, except a few who think it might be possible... then they see evidence and when the big event happens, they stand in awe and bask in the event - but not quite as thoroughly as the 'crazy.' ( Of course I wonder about how choosing to be serious and concerned and fearful is found more sane than choosing to be joyful, curious and at peace. )

There is also talk about "Duality." Here is where I get really interested. (of course, sometimes I think if I hear one more person ramble on about "Modalities" I'll snap!) Anyway, right now, the major belief system, the main thought or lifestyle is based on a sense of separation. Whether that is "God" is above "People" and "People" are above "Plants and Animals" or "I am alone" or "Nobody Understands" or "Man vs. Nature" doesn't matter, people think of themselves as separated from something or someone. The simple truth is that "Duality" is a great big lie.

The Truth of Unity

Yeah, I felt like labeling this section, LOL! Anyone who seriously looks at the "Big Picture" will tell you that everything is totally connected. What happens to someone in Somalia will have some kind of impact on each and every person on the planet. It might not be a big impact, it might not even be noticed, but it will happen. Most of the time Humans are way too focused on only what is right in front of them ( and often don't see all of it ) that they don't notice what is happening around them - or to them. Words fail to deliver the proper impact of "We are All Connected to Everything."

I really wish there were a way to actually get the full message of that statement across. We ALL have a direct and unbreakable connection to everything in existence - "God", "The Divine", "Asteroid 34234453x57", "Mako the Beluga Whale", "Joe Felding", "Feldspar", "Flip the Fox Squirrel" or your friendly neighborhood bacteria.

Energy

Energy is all around us and flowing through all things, us included. It is one of the ways we are all connected. Think of it as a Universal Internet WiFi signal and everything has a connection that is on all the time. Just like a computer, we don't have to be using it for anything - but we could.

So, could a wave of 'cosmic energy' wash over the planet and create a change in consciousness or our very DNA? Its possible, I think. Likely? Maybe not. Still, I'm consciously making the choice for more conscious living and for moving toward Unity as the default state of mind.

How do you do that? Just THINK about thinks a bit more. Consider what and who will be affected by your actions and how. Everything from taking off your shoes in the living room to zooming into the next lane at the last moment to the words and tone of voice you use to order coffee in the morning. Everything you do has a consequence and I try to be as aware as possible to what those consequences are because I am responsible for whatever happens as a result of my actions and reactions. Yes, I am responsible for how I react to someone else's actions. :D

I suppose I've rambled enough...